“And the Lord came, and stood, and called as at other times, Samuel, Samuel. Then Samuel answered, Speak; for thy servant heareth.”
1 Samuel 3: 10 KJV
When I was a child, God was this person that everyone around me prayed to. As most Christian children are told, we should pray to God but never quite knowing why or who this person was. I had my first personal encounter with God when I was 19 years old. I remember having dreams of a voice calling to me; the voice was always quiet but somehow powerful enough to take up the space all around me. It happened a few times enough that I was nervous and shared with my mom. That first exposure to God was the first of many personal interactions with God. But like many people who hears God’s voice for the first time, I felt that I was not ready because of all the things in my past that I was sure to be punished for. I tried to stay put but I must admit that I got scared. And when things started falling apart in my life, well the newest member in my life who was supposed to be powerful was most definitely to blame for it.But like many people who hears God’s voice for the first time, I felt that I was not ready Click To Tweet
I ran from God for a few years. I was sure that He had forgotten about me because I felt that I was never hearing from Him. I went back and forth with reading and praying, but altogether avoided going to church. About two years, His presence started becoming stronger in my life. I started feeling closer to Him, but I could never figure out why. I still felt that He had not been talking to me, but more and more I felt the need to start praying more, to become stricter about reading the Word, and finally to incorporate fasting in my life. I still felt that He was not talking to me, but I found myself feeling burdened by certain things; I started feeling like a weight was just laying on me, sometimes I felt like I was being followed around by certain topics.