Abundant Living, Black Mental Health, Mental Health

Building a Healthier Relationship With Yourself

March 5, 2020
black woman in grey and white jacket

Today, I want to discuss steps to building a healthier relationship with yourself so that you can make strides towards building abundance, legacy, and wealth in your life.


Let’s explore these steps to building a healthier relationship with yourself…

  • First, your relationship with yourself reflects the relationship that you will have with others. When you take the time to develop a healthier relationship with yourself, you will be more in tuned with your own needs and wants.
  • Secondly, when you are clearer about what you desire and what you want, you will understand more clearly what you will and will not tolerate in your life.
  • Third, when you are clearer about who you are, your sense of time and sense of value will become more concise. You will make decisions that will serve your life goals and purpose and will become more intentional about how you spend your time.

Implementing these 5 steps to building a healthier relationship with yourself will help you build a life that is more fulfilling, peaceful, abundant, and joyful. Your stress and anxiety will be reduced, and you will find that you will begin eliminating a lot of areas that you did not realize were not fueling you or making your life easier.

Understanding that time is the most precious commodity that we have, will grant you the freedom to implement these simple changes.  We all have 24 hours in a day, the only difference is how we use them.


5 Steps to Building a Healthier Relationship With Yourself... Click To Tweet


5 Steps to Building a Healthier Relationship With Yourself:


1). Set alone time:

It is imperative to spend time with yourself. Most people avoid alone time because they are uncomfortable with being alone with themselves. Most people don’t want to feel lonely. Understanding that there is a crucial difference in being alone and feeling alone will set you free from this belief.

When you feel lonely, you feel that there is no one in the world that you could call, you believe that you have no support and love. You believe that you are of no value to others, and hence, you experience a state of being alone in the world.

However, when you are alone, you can be alone without feeling that you have no support. You can experience satisfying time with your thoughts and feelings and recognize that your reality is not that you have no support. Spending time with yourself does not diminish your value to others.


2). Experience your thoughts and feelings:

Time take to get to know yourself through reflecting on the thoughts that you have. We have millions of thoughts a day and can spend the whole day thinking the same exact thoughts in different words. When this happens, you are caught in a thought loop, which oftentimes is negative.

To break these cycles, you must detach from your thoughts and look at the thoughts that you are having. Habits such as journaling or recording your thoughts (you do not need to save either of these) help you to explore the thoughts when you see them in front of you or hear them out loud. When you see the thoughts that are hurtful or maladaptive, you can begin to change the thought patterns by creating healthier thoughts.

Now, thoughts are important because they have a direct impact on your feelings. Most people wait to feel like doing something, not understanding that if they are thinking faulty thoughts, they will never feel like doing something. You must learn to control your thoughts because they drive your perceptions and your behaviors.

Change your thoughts, change your life.


3). Add boundaries to your life:

Your life will never be your own if you are focused on trying to please everyone around you. Everyone has their own desires and purposes. You can’t try to mirror someone else’s life because it was not meant to be yours.

Therefore, developing these 5 habits will help you to get clearer on who you are, and what you believe. When you are clear on these things, and others come to you with requests, demands, and responsibilities that do not serve who you are or your goals and purposes, you can say no without experiencing guilt.

Saying yes to things that do not matter to you or simply because you feel guilty is invalidating your time and also do not serve the people who really do need you and your time. Saying ‘No’ is a form of self-care. You can say ‘No’ and still show empathy and care.


4). Trust your instincts and dreams:

All the above steps are to help you become clearer on what makes you, you! We live in a world that is designed to force us to be something that we are not. When we focus on superficial things, we lose who we are and the things that make us unique.

Getting to know yourself will teach you what matters to you. Building these habits will help you to become comfortable with your inner voice, not a voice associated with shame, guilt, pain, or resentment.

Your instincts and dreams are gifts from God designed to show you what is at your core. You must learn to trust those core parts of you. When you do, you will be able to honor them, and you will find that your life has less stress, distractions, and conflicts.


5). Get comfortable with being uncomfortable:

Practice is required to get good at something. When you first try something new, it will feel foreign and out of place. You will want to give up the moment you fail at it or feel scared.

This is okay and should be expected.

You must practice these steps over and over to help you transform your life. It will take time for you to get comfortable with the discomfort. If you stop and return to the way things were because of fear, nothing will change in your life and you will continue to repeat the cycles that have plagued your life up until this point.



Practice these steps over and over in different areas of your life. Eventually, you will begin to see small changes that will metastasize over time. Consistency and practice will build confidence as you make the changes that you want to see in your life.

If you’re ready to get started on creating a better relationship with yourself, then start with the below worksheet, checkout the other sheets on the Printables page, and connect with me for a 15-minute consult  here and let’s see how I can help you move forward.

Download “Free Mental Health Checklist” GMP-Mental-Health-Checklist.docx – Downloaded 129 times – 150 KB

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: