Black Mental Health

The Value of Change

January 10, 2018

Photo by Denys Nevozhai on Unsplash

Change is the most constant thing about life. It is probably also the most feared thing in life for many of us. Change brings about a wide range of emotions for many of us. Fear sets in many ways: fear of failing; fear of missing out; fear of being judged by others; fear of letting ourselves down.

The list of fears is far-reaching and never-ending. It is easy to get caught up in our fears, but we do not realize that fear is there to protect us. It is there to help us scan for danger and ultimately take the safe route. This response is built into our brain and has withstood the test of time. The thing is that society and life has evolved, and fear can now become paralyzing as the ‘safe’ route is not always the ‘best’ route. The thing about fear is that as soon as we manage to get enough courage to work through one fear, another 5 is created in its place. Fear is never gone. That’s why there is bravery and courage. That’s why being brave and being courageous does not require us to be fearless. It just means that there is something other than fear that is of value to us. The question comes down to which one has more value to you?

I started this blog in July 2017. Fear was rampant. Fear of all the things I didn’t know, fear of all things that I couldn’t do, fear of all the things that I could or would do wrong, and every other fear that I can’t remember right now were all present reminding me of why it was an awful idea to try this blog thing and I just kept thinking about it. One day, I had to make a decision about what mattered more to me. I had to think about the future I wanted and realized that being fearful was not a characteristic I wanted to be associated with.

A few months later, I realized that I could look at my blog and pinpoint areas that I needed to do better in, to grow in. In that moment, I made the decision to change my platform. I decided to make some permanent changes that would take time. I had the option of beating myself up and getting mad that I had chosen the wrong platform to begin with and that I now had ‘extra’ work to do. Or I could look at the situation as growth; that only a few months ago, I knew nothing about blogs, hosting platforms, website layout, etc and now had a clearer idea of what I wanted to have and what I could do.

Change will always happen. It will always be present. It can always feel overwhelming. However, until we change our perspectives, change the way we look at the situations before us, change will always be overwhelming. We have to break down the changes into little parts that we can work through so that it does not feel overwhelming. We must think more about our goals and fight to stay in a positive state instead of focusing on the negative which tells how much change will hurt, how much change will be hard.

What do you need to change your perspective on?

Focusing on the positives of having the website aligned with my values and goals is worth more than the work it will take to get there for me. It has taken a couple of weeks, but slowly the website is becoming what I want it to be. The satisfaction of accomplishing something that is meaningful to me is worth more than staying in a situation that I was no longer happy with because I fearful of doing more work. Fear will never end. So that means I will never start if I am only waiting on fear to end.

Remember that change is not always bad. Change can be renewing. Change can mean that one door closes, but it also means that another is waiting to open. If we only focus on the door that is closing, we will miss the opportunity of the door waiting to be open. Change allows us to re-evaluate our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, outlook, lives, environment, and future. Allow yourself to be open to the possibilities that exist with change.

We were never meant to stay in one place.



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