“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55: 8 – 9
There are days when it seems like we are all alone in our pain. We feel like no one understands our burdens and the things we are going through. We feel isolated, pained, alone, and hopeless.
A few years back, I felt that way. I felt that my world was falling apart around me and God had chosen to punish me for something and He was not hearing my prayer. That had to be one of the lowest points in my life. The sheer terror of hopelessness breeds every negative feeling that can exist in our minds and in our bodies. I must admit that I stayed in that space for a long time and had no idea how to come out of it.
In times like these, you create a mask for your face and a shell for your outer body. You feel like no one understands and no one ever will.
It took me a long time, a long time, to start to understand that I had a choice in the way thoughts were controlling me. It took a long time to recognize that, yes, I had those thoughts, and they were difficult to deal with, and yes, I did really feel hopeless, but I had to begin to acknowledge the small part of me that wanted a better way. When I hit the lowest moments of my life, I did not know what to do.
Out of sheer frustration and pain, I yelled at God. I told Him how mad I was at him for punishing me. How annoyed I was at Him for his sheer silence in the midst of my pain. I pretty much unloaded my pain onto Him in frustration. The funny thing is I didn’t feel that He was responding back to me, but I noticed that my burden began to feel slightly lighter and just a little lighter the more I unloaded on Him.